Let’s Talk Witch – Ethicsor Etiquette

Recently in conversation with friends in a small intimategathering, I mentioned outer-court names and passed on gossip. Later I was toldthat I had “violated etiquette.” Had I?

Etiquette is socially accepted forms of behavior, agreedupon by the members of a community. Ethics involves morality, the nature ofright as determined by a group or an individual.I believe there is a great dealof confusion of these terms in the “Pagan Community.”

Going by fairly traditional rules there are the “Laws ofWicca.” Among these there is a very firm one saying one should never revealanother person as a Witch without their permission. However a person who hasrevealed themselves publicly as a witch shouldn’t complain. And is it aviolation of ethics to tell of a person by their outer-court name? Only insiderscould know the legal name of the person, so what is the danger?

Ethics can be fairly easily agreed upon in the generalpagan community. Anything that puts someone else in an embarrassing ordangerous position is unethical. We all make mistakes at times, but we try toact in a manner consistent with our ethical code. Etiquette, on the other hand,is very deceiving. We assume, since we are all members of the “Neo-PaganCommunity” that we

have the same etiquette. But the only etiquette I haveever been explicitly told about involves greetings to be exchanged betweenmembers of a group and their high priestess or between two high priestess ofdifferent groups. What about a more common meeting?

Say a friend of mine is tired of being a solitary andwishes to come to a group celebration. What etiquette should I follow to bringthis person to such a circle? I could either contact the group beforehand andask permission, or tell them I will be bringing a guest, or I could simplybring a guest – with no warning at all. In the first situation, theresponsibility and decision is theirs; in the second I am responsible for myguest’s behavior; in the third I am a boor and will never be invited to theircircles again.

No one has covered all the possible conflict situationsin the Pagan Community. So there is no way I could agree to follow an“etiquette.” My general code is simply to use common sense, and give the otherperson an easy out. For example, if you think someone else is a Witch and wishto find out, you might tell them that you are one. To receive trust you have togive it first.

A secondary problem in this situation is how does onekeep a secret? Should one only speak in whispers, or when no one is within 100paces? I think that looks furtive and produces suspicion

in the mind of outsiders. Or do we follow Poe’s lead andput the secret out in the open and disarm the opposition?

I know several people who studiously “maintain secrecy”but everyone knows that they are “witches.” Worse, because of their secrecy, theircolleagues don’t know what a witch is except it must be nasty since they won’tspeak of it. I do not proclaim my religion, nor do I hide it, and I have neverhad any problems. I hear 3rd hand horror stories but would like to hear firsthand experiences, good or bad.

Author: Ellen